Pretty Pictures 04.28.12 (Special Wedding Edition)

Happy Wedding Day to Jen and Steve (and to Jason Hottoe for officiating)!  I wish I was in Rico with you guys, but we'll get to party and celebrate your nuptials when you're back in DC.  And hopefully like our girl in today's Pretty Pictures.  Nicki Minaj with "Starships."  Good Lord, homegirl's insane!  In a great way.

Por San Antón, Echa Cueros el Lechón

Wepa!  I was really excited when the Jayhawk first told me that Giovanna Huyke* (the Julia Child of Puerto Rico) was coming to DC to take over the kitchen at Mio.  Reading Tom Sietsema's latest review of the restaurant (which is truly one our favorite spots in town -- I mean, really, the pig alone is reason enough to go and like it there) made me giggle and just about shed a tear of joy.  Welcome to Guasington, Giovanna! And congratulations to you and to Mio for the great review.  Looks like 2012 will be a good (and yummy) year, indeed.

(*Site en español.)

Pretty Pictures Version 11.29.11

I know tonight's Pretty Pictures have been a round for a little bit, but they reminded me of my 73 year old Cuban tío playing Angry Birds on my cousin's iPad this weekend.  He's totally hooked.  Just like everyone else I know who's laid their fingers on a screen with them on.  It's hard not to be.  They're so darned cute in their anger.  Lana Del Rey with "Video Games."

And I'll Form the Head!

Ooph...Sorry for the extended Thanksgiving hiatus, mis bonitos.  The tryptophan from the Rican-spiced turkey had me in a mind/body coma.  Well...I say it was the turkey, but it was really the turkey and the ham and the arroz con gandules and the pasteles de pollo and the cheesecake.  And the beers.  The many, many beers.  Mi cielo, so many beers over the course of the long weekend!  Overall, it was great time with the Rican familia and the urban familia.  Especially hanging out in the 'hood with my cousin who flew in for the holiday.  I'm not sure that my vital organs (mainly my liver) agree with me on that, but they would agree that this news is awesome!  Learning of the possibility of a Voltron movie made me giggle and jump up and down with pure glee.  Eeee!

That's My Sandwich!

Boo Hiss!  My parents didn't make it out of Rico last night.  Well, they made it 30 minutes out when their pilot decided to turn back to the island because the plane cabin smelled like burning rubber.  Luckily nothing wrong was found, but mom/dad weren't able to find another flight to the Mainland.  So they're staying in PR.  And eating my loaded sammie!  Japi Zanguiving, papá!

(Caveat: My sisters are gonna send us new sammies in dry ice in the mail.  It's a Thanksgiving miracle!)

The Ricans Are Coming! The Ricans Are Coming!

The Jayhawk and I are getting ready to gobble gobble on some turkey and fixin's tomorrow at my cousin's house in the No Va with my parents!  I know that I saved up some space in my belly already today by eating a light lunch and dinner.  Gotta make room for the pasteles, alcapurrias, beans and rice, and many desserts.  And our sandwiches from Las Cumbres that my sisters bought for us this morning.  Nothing says Rican lovin' quite like pounds of roast pork, ham, salami, mortadella, and cheese on a freshly-baked hoagie roll.  By the time we get them tomorrow all of those juices and flavors will have melded together and seeped into the bread...Oh!  I'm going into artery-hardening, heart attack shock just thinking about it!  Too awesome for words.

Sotomenor

Me no likey how the Sotomayor nomination is playing out. Who's racist now? Congress may not like the Ricans, but thank goodness the Repubs have no chance of preventing her confirmation.

Mi Casa Es Su Casa

Today's good news about Sotomayor's nomination is good news, indeed. The energy on La Isla has got be off the chain! ¡Viva, boricua! It's too bad that the good news couldn't extend to the gays in California. The struggle continues.

(Photo courtesy of Shawn Thew/EPA)

La Semana in News #18

I don't think this recipe is in the Betty Crocker cookbook.

Credit woes for credit unions.

KC area breaks 2,000,000.

All those people will need to be fed. Sloppy Joe's are a good way to do that.

The jury let Anibal go?! On all counts?!

Today in 1873.

Where are Ricans gonna find boxes to use as their luggage now?

Selena to the rescue (as in Lopez and stray Rican dogs).

La Semana in News #17

Keep your fingers crossed, Jayhawk. Waiting for that No. 2 (to No. 4) seed.

Kathleen: The Bad Catholic.

This ain't the kind of spice anyone needs in their chili.

The Estonians are coming (to Johnson County)!

A good Saturday night for Rico: Rico pummels the U.S. in the World Baseball Classic.

Makes up for a bad Wednesday night for Rico: Smiley and Pretty voted off on the same night.

The stress and the drama of the losses were apparently too much for the Rican earth to handle.

13% unemployment, anyone?

La Semana in News #16

Say "yes" to HHS. Sebelius finally accepts a Cabinet position.

You're not in New England anymore. Cassel off to KC.

Me dance pretty one day. Actually, 2 days. KC Ballet honors Twyla Tharp in STL.

Free sample; free sample! Wine by the glass in KC liquor stores. I see drunky messes on the horizon. But drunkies do shop more. So maybe it's a brilliant plan to help the economy.

When Ricans Attack. Rican Nationalists shoot up the House of Representatives. In 1954.

Blatant financial conflicts of interest in Rico? Impossible...

When in doubt, ship 'em out...to Iraq.

A piece of el campito in la gran ciudad.

La Semana in News #15

Forget Build-A-Bear. Build-A-Trike is much more fun.

More troubles for Sprint. How is a "BB+" rating a downgrade from a plain "BB," though?

Hooley Hooley KC stylee.

She might just make it after all...Sebelius for HHS top spot? Maybe...

The stripper took my nipple!

Drunky rotten scoundrels. Drink more (Rican) rum.

But don't try to swindle the Rican peoples because they will catch you (and air your dirty laundry while they're at it for kicks).

¡Arriba, Cotto! I know the island must have been on fire last night.

Rican heat in the Chitown cold.

Cry, cry, baby!

La Semana in News #14

All Hale-y! The Chiefs hire Todd Haley as their new head coach.

That's 475,830 KC residents, to be exact, Mr. Census Man.

The river is falling! The river is falling!

Birthdays all around this weekend. Happy Bday, KC Ballet!

¡Wepa! Rico beats Venezuela in baseball Caribbean Series.

Talk about angry white men...Try an angry machista Rican man with a legal education. Whatevs...

I don't get it. Rican skinheads in Orlando?

No Wii for me! Well, at least not one that we'll hook up to the Internets.

Colossal!

Not about the Rican juices*, but about the painting in El Prado. Looks like "The Colossus" by Franciso de Goya y Lucientes is not Goya's at all. Just so happens that Goya's quietly (since he's been dead, to be fair) been taking the credit for having painted the gentle giant for decades now. But he's really the work of one of Goya's apprentices, Asensio Juliá. Once, again, the fame ho' takes the credit while the real talent stands in the shadows. Kinda like how Eleanor Waldorf took credit for Little Jenny Humphreys' designs on the Gossip Girl. But Little Jenny showed Eleanor who's the real bosslady, didn't she? And now Little Asensio's showing Francisco who's the boss, too. Jeebus, the art gods will strike me down for having written that.

The point is that you can't trust an amigo, onetime. Much like you should never trust our favorite amigo, Alberto Gonzalez. He's really going around proclaiming that he's another good guy misrepresented by the evil media? Berto and the Blago should get together and start their own Church of Delusions. And yeah, neither Alberto nor Rod are mis amigos. Blech. Shizz...

(*El Coloso is a Registered TM of Colón Brothers, Inc.)

Who Said Ricans Were Demanding?

JLo and El Skeletor have really tried to outdo themselves this time. I guess I'd be a bit demanding, too, if I'd agreed to perform in the world's coke den along with reggaeton "artists," Wisin & Jandel. Jeebus, you know that crowd's going to be full of thug wannabes and their wannabe chola tecata girlfriends. But college-educated bi-lingual nannies' assistants and a floor at the Cartagena Hotel? Please...Gimme bottles of spring water collected in the mountains by FARC hostages and my own sicario houseboy. Now those are some real treats from Colombia fit for Rican celebrity.

Gimme Gimme #13 (Edición Especial)

Today's Three Kings Day, so, to celebrate the holiday, gimme gimme a painting from John Gascot. Me lovey his colors in his Latin Pop collection. And "Strong" in his new works makes me giggle on the inside. Good stuff.

Not the Chamber of Commerce; the Department of Commerce

That's what I have to tell everyone every time I go to Rico. I'm 33 years old and have been working at the DOC for over 8 years now, but the Don Q and the Medalla must affect everyone's short-term memory more than I like to admit because peeps can't keep my story straight. But maybe there won't be a need to keep the story straight if Barack listens to the gays and taps (drrty) former SBA Administrator Fred Hochberg. At least Fred's got a proven track record in trade issues, unlike Señor Panetta with intelligence, and isn't a TV personality like Dr. Gupta. Makes sense to hire him, no?

La Semana in News #11

What's in a name?

2009: The year for KC artistry.

Get me some eggs and milk while you're at it.

Sign o' the shaky print media times. KC Kansan goes on-line only.

An inauguration fit for the stars. Even my parents sat up in the VIP section.

Speaking of stars, JLo and Skeletor are not getting a divorce, gracias very mucho.

Rico gets its own peseta!

Use it to pay for dinner at one of these fine restaus.

¡Japi Bandera Day!

It's Rican Flag Day today! And I feel like I need to wave some sort of flag to help my stomach and liver rest. Never surrender; just need a little breather. I've had enough roast pork and rice and gandules and beans and pasteles and cake and beer and rum to last me a lifetime (or until next year). And I'm here for another 5 Christmastime days. Ooph. Yum!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Pero no en Puerto Rico. That's where I be right now, visiting the family and leaving the Jayhawk to his own devices until the 29th. Ooph. ;) So, updates may or may not be sporadic until I get back to DC. If I don't update while I'm here, Happy Christmakwanzaakuh, everyone!